I still don’t know why I did it really. One minute I was enjoying Pomegranate Martinis and Spicy Tuna Rolls at a happy hour, and the next thing I knew I was planning a boudoir photoshoot with my friend, Alyssa, for the next morning.  Alyssa is a professional photographer, and her brand Faded Infinity specializes in private photoshoots, particularly boudoir scenes.

A boudoir shoot, as I soon learned, is one that depicts the model in a sensual or sexual way. She is typically in lingerie or nude- implied or otherwise- but the thing that most distinguishes a boudoir shoot is the tone of elegance rather than eroticism. They are quite commonly seen in Victoria Secret ads or used as gift for that special someone.

Alyssa loves working with her clients on boudoir scenes because she feels the shoot really gives them a chance to own their beauty and to be confident in their sexuality. That’s what she’s into, making women feel beautiful and comfortable in their own skin. But that’s the hardest part. How do you get someone who doesn’t really know how to feel about their body in front of the camera?

Luckily, I got the sudden urge to be daring (maybe those martinis had something to do with that). I have never done any type of modeling before, and the thought of showing all that skin was really intimidating. But I’m always up for something new. I trusted Alyssa. And, I’ll be honest, I was kind of excited at the thought of trying out all my sexy-time faces in front of the camera. What did I look like as a seductress? Did I have some bonafide smoldering eyes or was I still more of a duckface?

Man did I have a blast! During the shoot I didn’t really care whether my far off gaze looked introspective or addlebrained. I had a great time rolling around on a spare mattress dragged out into the garden – all made up with pillows and a fluffy comforter. I felt like a fairy queen napping under the orange trees on that warm Arizona morning. Alyssa did my makeup and helped me pick out a few outfits that I felt good in and that she thought would really represent me in the photos. I started out the shoot with a nightie, a flannel shirt that I always wear and, of course, my furry uggs. By the end I was wearing nothing but my panties and a faux fur blanket.  I got into it. I got comfortable. The layers came off while I explored this confident sexy side of myself. It was easy once we started having fun and laughing. Occasionally she would show me a shot she was really excited she got. Seeing myself on the little screen of her camera and how excited she was just inflated my enthusiasm and gave me even more energy to roll around with.

Alyssa did a great job. I really think some of the pictures turned out amazing. I was so excited but nervous to see them, even after the previews. But they turned out beautiful. Hey, I’ll admit it: I love these pictures of myself! Just like she promised. I  learned to love my body and embrace my unique beauty. For the first time, in perhaps my whole life, I really truly knew that I was beautiful.  And now, looking at the photos afterwards, I regain that happy confidence and it fills me with more love for my body. My own look. Me.

Working with Alyssa and Faded Infinity on a private photo shoot really helped me see what I truly look like without my own insecurities clouding my vision.

So really, get out there and find your confidence. I recommend it.  Go find a photographer you can trust, or that makes you comfortable, and take an afternoon to have a fun sexy time photo shoot.  Don’t just do it so you have some readily available sexting photos. Do it for yourself.

Do it so that the next time those freshly washed jeans feel too tight and try to steal your confidence, you can remember you are a smoking hot mamma without any clothes on and no pair of PANTS is going to make you feel otherwise.